Background information
"Christmas is the perfect setting in which hidden conflicts can lead to separation"
by Martin Jungfer
Your first flat together: how to make moving in together work
3.6.2019
Translation: machine translated
Do you and your other half want to move in together? Before you do, there are a few things you should bear in mind so that the first argument isn't inevitable.
If you want to be with your partner around the clock, you'll put up with a lot to make sure you see each other as often as possible. However, commuting back and forth between two flats is quite exhausting in the long run. Because before you go to your better half's, you have to pack and plan, or check the weather app to make sure you're taking the right things with you. And because two flats are more expensive than one, it makes sense to look for something together sooner or later. If you're about to move in together or have just moved in with your "partner in crime", you need to bear the following things in mind so that things don't go awry straight away.
General rehearsal
Wait at least one holiday before moving in together. It's not for nothing that many couples go their separate ways after a holiday together. Lots of free time and inescapable closeness in a confined hotel room lead to the knockout of many relationships. If the expectations of the holiday are completely different, arguments are not far away. Moving in together on a trial basis is even better than a holiday. This will give you a taste of what to expect in a shared accommodation.
New beginning
Circumstances don't always allow it, but try to find a new nest together. Even if it's convenient that your partner already has a nice place to stay in a central location. You will always feel somewhat disadvantaged or merely a guest in the other person's home. If there's no other option, then completely redecorate the old flat together.
Taste is debatable
If you have a strong personality, don't try to get your way when it comes to furniture. A relationship is based on compromises that everyone has to make. The same applies to your own four walls, as both partners need to feel equally comfortable in them. This means: if you get your way with the sofa table, let your sweetheart choose the TV furniture, etc. [[image:22183733]]
To each his own
An advantage of living together: You can share the cost of rent. On the other hand, I don't recommend buying new furniture. Why? In the event of a separation, you'll ensure a clear division of property. This will prevent arguments over trivialities such as a fork. Take it in turns to pay and make sure that everything is done fairly: if he buys the sofa, she pays for the bed, for example.
Retreat
Make sure your nest doesn't become a cave. Even if you are inseparable, it is important that everyone has a place to retreat to. A separate room would be ideal. If that's not financially feasible, let each other watch TV in the living room one day a week or give yourselves a breather one evening. If she goes to yoga with her friend on a Tuesday evening, he should enjoy being alone instead of doing the same and going out for a beer with friends. This increases the anticipation for each other.
Household plan
You agree on who does which housework? Then congratulations. That's an exception. What helped me: Decide on a day of the week when you'll tidy up your home together. You can take it in turns to do the chores. If you can't manage this organisationally, draw up a cleaning schedule like in a shared flat. Make a note of who has to do which chore by when.
A cosy home, happiness for two. If you follow these rules, your chances of living harmoniously under one roof are good. For more tips, you can follow me by clicking the button on my author profile.
When I’m not exploring the depths of the sea as an open water diver, I enjoy plunging into the world of fashion. On the streets of Paris, Milan and New York is where I keep my eyes peeled for the latest trends. And I’ll show you how to take them from the catwalk to your everyday life.
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