Puddle pants – when trousers are dragged through the dirt

Stephanie Vinzens

17.8.2022

Translation: Jessica Johnson-Ferguson

Overlong pants are turning into a fashion favourite as we speak. I can only shake my head at this fad and wonder how I’d get the street grime out of them.

I enjoy ugly fashion, silly fashion and controversial fashion – but I draw the line when it comes to unsanitary styles. Anyone who knows me will confirm that I carried a disinfectant in my pocket and was opening doors with my elbow long before the world had heard about Sars-CoV-2. And yet, I struggle to believe I’m the only one who finds this trend disgusting. Or am I?

I’m talking about so-called puddle pants. And they’re about to become the biggest trouser trend of the year. What are they about? Overlong, loose-fitting pants that drape over your shoes. At least in theory. In practice, they’re mainly mopping up the streets.

Street-sweeping slacks

Maybe you think these trousers look ill fitting. Personally, I like the look. The bagginess comes with a touch of casual; the elongated silhouette gives them an elegant touch. However, what I can’t get on board with is that this garment is basically a mop in disguise. Surprisingly, however, a hem that houses a smorgasbord of street smut doesn’t seem to be a deal-breaker for many people out there. Most of the female influencers I follow seem happy to be dragging their sometimes visibly soiled pant hems across the concrete. And fashion magazines gush about it.

«Vogue», for instance, talks about a «perfect all-rounder pants» – and makes me want to scream. Why? Because one thing I despise just as much as a lack of hygiene is when something impractical is passed off as something practical. On the catwalk, the stage, at a photo shoot or at home, floor mop trousers are fine. But practical, everyday outdoor clothing? I don’t think so. Unless you’re a celebrity and only wear your clothes once or have someone to do the laundry for you.

I, on the other hand, want to keep my clothes looking great for as long as possible with as little effort as possible. That also means avoiding textile death in the form of stains and frayed hems. By the way, the latter are actual trip hazards as my colleague Pia came to realise. She recently stepped on the threads of her friend’s frayed puddle pants.

The stain struggle is ignored

I can’t find any washing tips for puddle pants online because no one is talking about the hygiene problem this trend has. Do I need to scrub off the street dirt by hand with a stain remover before washing them? And if I skip this step, do I really want pavement muck to end up in my washing machine? Think about it. It’s not like I’d wash my shoes together with my clothes either. Does this mean I need to run a separate puddle pant cycle? How wasteful! And are the germs even reliably rinsed out in a conventional wash? After all, the washing recommendation for most trousers is a mere 30 degrees Celsius. Maybe I even need to have them cleaned professionally? So many questions.

Of course, you can find styling tips for a more moderate look, but that kind of defeats the purpose. If your pants barely touch the ground because of the heels you’re wearing or a folded hem, there is no puddle of fabric and therefore no puddle pant. All that’s left are conventional baggy or wide-leg pants.

So until someone can show me a hygienic and practical way to care for puddle pants, I’m leaving the grime, smut and filth where it belongs: in the bin or sewer at best, or on the street at worst. But definitely not on my clothes.

Stephanie Vinzens

Editor

Stephanie.Vinzens@digitecgalaxus.ch

Has endless love for shoulder pads, Stratocasters and sashimi, but a limited tolerance for bad impressions of her Eastern Swiss dialect.

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