Happy ewwwster: these are the five ugliest chocolate bunnies
24.3.2024
Translation: Megan Cornish
Certain Easter chocolate bunnies look like they’ve hopped straight into a wall. There’s only one solution for the following five ugly specimens: melt them down and make them into a dessert.
Yes, my name is Swiss, but that’s where the Swissness ends. I don’t like mountains or Lindt chocolate bunnies. For me, the golden long-eared creatures – which reproduce to an invasive degree on supermarket shelves – are the epitome of boring. I think their chocolate tastes just as bland as their appearance. And then there’s the cheesy advertising!
A look at our shop will show you that the Lindt bunnies are not the only mass-produced product that has a lot of room for aesthetic improvement. Here are the five ugliest chocolate Easter bunnies on my open-ended scale:
1. The indefinable
Is it a deer? Is it a dog? And is its belly really so big that its waistband is about to explode? Or did it swallow an egg? I’m completely at a loss when it comes to the Ferrero Rocher Easter Bunny. The rabbit’s paws look like they’ve been drawn by a small child, but it has an incredibly innovative ribbon around his neck. We’ve seen that somewhere before…
2. The nauseous one
Wow, Lindt really continues to surprise me. The company hasn’t only made great creative strides in creating its chunky gold bunnies, but also its vegan version. Not. The poor little guy seems to have turned green, sick at the sight of himself. At least the manufacturer remains true to its classic stuffy design.
3. The beheaded bunny
What on earth is it? M&M’s were trying to be particularly original and gave their two-legged chocolate buttons Easter masks. It’s stupid, it looks like Red and Yellow have beheaded a rabbit and a chick and are holding their skulls up as trophies. The manufacturer probably didn’t read the story about the sacrificial lamb closely. Maybe it’d have been better to save the idea for Halloween.
4. The artificial one
Then we have Harry. Harry is blue, stands on two legs and has just had an eyelid lift and teeth whitening. He seems about as natural as Josh Bateson (article in German), the boy who once advertised children’s chocolate. The man – now almost 30 years old – still has sparkling white teeth. And if his loyal following is anything to go by, he’s also a bit of a snack.
5. The attempt at editing
Which colour is still missing? Oh yes, red like the Nestlé Easter bunny. I have to admit: compared to its peers, it’s almost sweet. Almost. But what’s going on with the bow on its left ear? Has Kim Kardashian been messing around with Photoshop again? After all, Kit Kat bars are known to be her favourite sweet treat.
Well, that’s it. But not all chocolate Easter bunnies are so painful on the eyes. The local confectioners have wonderful handmade examples in their shop windows. It makes you look forward to Easter again. And proud to be Swiss.
Which bunnies do you give as gifts for Easter? And which ones do you definitely not? Let me know in the comments.
Darina Schweizer
Senior Editor
Darina.Schweizer@digitecgalaxus.chI like anything that has four legs or roots. The books I enjoy let me peer into the abyss of the human psyche. Unlike those wretched mountains that are forever blocking the view – especially of the sea. Lighthouses are a great place for getting some fresh air too, you know?
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