
Lindt Lindor balls pistachio
200 g
Known for its irresistible crunch and taste explosion, Dubai chocolate is highly praised online. But when I did my own taste test, I wasn’t convinced.
My nose wrinkles as I watch a girl on TikTok bite into a bar of Dubai chocolate. The green, sticky filling oozes out from between her teeth. She sighs with pleasure – I’m disgusted.
Dubai chocolate has triggered huge hype on social media in recent months. And I’m puzzled as to why. Because almost everything about this chocolate repels me:
But what I learnt as a child was «the proof is in the pudding.» So maybe it’s what’s inside that matters. When the chocolate arrives in Switzerland come October and gets added to our range, I immediately get in touch with the responsible Category team.
A few days later, the chocolate sits on my desk, along with a jar of pistachio cream. The inscription «Dubai Style Chocolate» on the packaging tells me this isn’t the original from Fix Dessert Chocolatier. Makes sense, as it’s difficult to find outside Dubai. That’s why we sell imitation products, mainly from the Middle East. My test product comes from Turkey.
When I pull out the bar, I’m surprised at first. I didn’t expect plastic packaging for such expensive chocolate. I’m also not a fan of the yellow-green pattern on the top of the bar. It really reminds me of the homemade wrapping paper we splashed paint on with old toothbrushes in pre-school. Still, the 200-gramme bar is just as fancy as the Dubai lifestyle.
I need a fair amount of force to break off one of the massive rows of chocolate. Some of the pistachio filling sticks to my fingers. According to the list of ingredients, 35 per cent of the bar consists of chopped nuts. On closer inspection, I can also see thin, elongated pieces. These are kadaifi, threads of dough made from wheat flour and fried in oil. They originate in south-eastern Europe and the eastern Mediterranean, make up 18 per cent of the chocolate bar. The whole thing is coated with milk chocolate (at least 30 per cent cocoa) and decorated with food colouring.
I take a bite. The intense sweetness hits me immediately. A total of 33.4 grammes of sugar are hidden in the chocolate. A bit too much for my liking. I also prefer it when the chocolate coating is a little thinner. On the other hand, it’s quite satisfying because I can hear it crunching between my teeth. That must be the kadaifi dough threads. I’m not surprised, there are numerous ASMR videos on it:
Unlike many others, I don’t feel a tingling sensation when I hear the crunching sounds. But I like the consistency of the chocolate. It reminds me of chocolate with crunchy cocoa nibs, nougat or cereal pieces.
Nevertheless, I would’ve expected a greater crunch and taste experience overall, especially at this proud price. It’s quite steep when you compare it with other pistachio chocolate bars. For one Dubai chocolate bar you can get:
Lindt Lindor balls pistachio
200 g
However, I must point out that the above bars only have a nut content between 1.5 and 20 per cent. If I wanted to get the 35 per cent pistachio content of Dubai chocolate, I’d have to make it myself. There are plenty of recipes (link in German), but does this actually save you money?
Let’s do the maths. If I bought the required 70 grammes of pistachios from our shop for a 200-gramme bar, this would cost around six francs/euros. 36 grammes of kadaifi dough threads would be very cheap at around 70 cent. Then I’d still have 16 francs left for the remaining ingredients. As you can see, it’s definitely worth getting your baking spoon out.
It’s even cheaper – and less time-consuming – to mix 36 grammes of the kadaifi dough threads with 106 grammes of the ready-made pistachio cream. Theoretically, you could invest over 17 francs in the chocolate alone to match the price of Dubai chocolate on Galaxus. It just takes someone to invent such an expensive treat first.
It’s not that unrealistic. In fact, the Crown Prince and Minister of Defense Hamdan bin Mohammed Al Maktoum has already announced an exclusive new variety at Fix Dessert Chocolatier. A clever move to further highlight Dubai’s sweet side. But not all that glitters is gold. In Dubai, human rights are still being disregarded, freedom of expression is being restricted and resources are being consumed excessively.
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I like anything that has four legs or roots. The books I enjoy let me peer into the abyss of the human psyche. Unlike those wretched mountains that are forever blocking the view – especially of the sea. Lighthouses are a great place for getting some fresh air too, you know?