Making friends in Switzerland: Mission Tricky, but not Impossible
31.12.2021
Pictures: Stefanie Müller
Yes, you can go from lonesome dot to friendship triangle to friendship circle. Yes, even here. Yes, even as an adult. If a rather introverted person like myself can do it, there’s a good chance that you can, too.
Let me start with a big fat disclaimer: since the pandemic started, I haven’t made any new friends. While many resumed their social lives as normal between the waves – and more power to them – I wasn’t quite comfortable enough to do so. That being said, I do think that these tips will hold up whenever you do go out searching for new mates again. And if you’ve moved somewhere new in the past two years, I’m sorry if it’s been a rough time.
What Cape Town and Switzerland have in common It’s not just mountains, tourists and the well-heeled living by the water. Just over a decade ago, I moved to what South Africans call the Mother City. I was warned that it is «clique-y», to use an SA term. I can confirm that it’s really hard for newcomers to make friends. If you didn’t grow up in the shadow of Table Mountain with someone, they’re not going to want to get to know you any better once you’re older. This applies to Switzerland too – many locals tend not to make friends after school, maybe after completing their higher education qualifications or apprenticeships, if they’re stragglers. Of course, there are exceptions, but I have even heard Swiss people complaining that finding friends here is tough as one gets older.
Connecting in the digital age
In the Before Times, I attended quite a few events advertised on the expat platform InterNations. Through this social network, you can join your (nearest) city’s community and connect with immigrants from around the world. The current Swiss communities are Basel, Bern, Geneva Lausanne, Lucerne, Lugano, Neuchatel Lake, St. Gallen, Zug and Zurich. You can also search for members by country of origin, if you would like to meet up with folks from your home country, for example. By attending official and unofficial events, arranged by the city’s InterNations «ambassadors», and local members, you’ll be meeting new people in no time. You can also join a variety of groups based on interests. This is how I found my book club. You can get Basic membership for free and attend official events.
Premium Albatross membership, which includes group events, will cost you 84.30 Swiss francs a year. You can also join expat groups on Facebook. A popular one is Outdoors in Switzerland with over 36,000 nature-loving sports enthusiasts. This page presents you with great opportunities to indulge in all that the stunning Swiss countryside has to offer.
With the Meetup app, you can join countless groups across the country. Many of them welcome English speakers and some are geared directly towards expats. Aside from finding career-related networking groups, you can join others dedicated to cooking, writing, dancing, pub crawling, board gaming, language exchange, woodworking and much more. The app is free for attendees but costs between 10 and 30 US dollars a month for organisers. The price increases depending on how advanced you want your groups’ features to be and whether you want to be able to run more than three groups.
The Swiss way
If you can speak a local language, make like the natives and join societies and clubs in your region. Whether you’re into mycology, movies or mountain biking, you’re bound to find something that suits you. You’ll find lists of local clubs and societies here or on on your town’s website. If you’re a student, then you can also join societies on campus.
Another way to meet people is by taking group courses – the Migros Klubschule would be my go-to here. Since these courses do not continue indefinitely, you won’t have months to connect with people, but I’d argue that a few chats are enough to figure out whether you’re compatible with someone or not.
Before the pandemic, I took a six-month ornithology course in a nearby town, since it was not offered where I live. Did I manage to make any friends during this time? No, I struck out. While I met some lovely people, I wasn’t quite on the same wavelength with them. Maybe age differences had something to do with it, since I was among the younger participants.
Friendship chemistry isn’t guaranteed. You could meet someone once in a tiny bar and hit it off phenomenally. Or, you could hang out with people for months, staring through binoculars on freezing weekend mornings, and trying to decipher bird calls in the backwoods where not even the PostBus dares tread, and not forge any meaningful connections. (Despite my description, I did enjoy the birding course. On the internet somewhere, someone once wrote that birding is like playing Pokémon Go in real life. I highly recommend learning more about these fascinating tiny dinosaurs.)
Thinking out of the…
If you live in a communal setting, take it as an opportunity. Assuming that you get along with your flatmates, hang out with them and accept invitations to any and all events. This is how I ended up making friends in Cape Town – through my former flatmate, who I’m still friends with to this day. (And who is not originally from there, I might add.) I currently also live in shared accommodation – something I was grateful for during the lockdown. Shortly after I’d moved in, one of them invited me to an event organised by a local women’s group. I tagged along a few times and met a lovely lady with whom I’ve got a lot in common. She’s also introduced me to some of her friends and hobbies. Take advantage of that snowball effect, guys.
While this one could be considered controversial, I’d recommend befriending co-workers, if you can. Back in South Africa, I met three of my good friends at a magazine we all used to work at. Sure, there is a small risk that buddying up at work can backfire, but in my experience it’s worth it. Anyway, even if your office mate turns into an office enemy, nobody stays at one company forever.
So, strap on those social butterfly wings and mingle. Your new friends aren’t going to come crashing through the ceiling – you need to get out there. Here’s hoping the plague subsides soon so we can get back out there!
How did you make friends in Switzerland? I’d love to hear your stories below!
For most of my life, I was among the 2% of Swiss abroad who live in Africa. I still rarely carry cash on me, a habit I’m trying to break as it can result in very awkward situations. Like when trying to settle a bill in a remote mountain-top restaurant. My dream job is to be a forest sprite – since this is rather unattainable, I instead spend a lot of my free time birding or running in the woods.
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