Everything you never wanted to know about sex – curious facts from around the world
24.7.2023
Translation: Katherine Martin
Getting it on is generally considered one of the most wonderful pastimes in the world. A look at the science, however, proves that if sex is anything, it’s bizarre. Here are the answers to all the coitus-related questions you’ve probably never asked.
Sure, most people consider lovemaking to be the most intimate form of communication between two (or more) people. Its romantic image, however, only rings true to a certain extent. At least that’s what some of the most curious studies say. In fact, bizarre sex practices and climaxes ending in tragedy seem to be more common than you might think.
So, when does sex put men’s lives in danger? Which item of clothing is a must-have for a lusty liaison? And which sexual practice does the Flehmen Response describe? Let’s find out.
Faking the big O – and socks in bed
For some, sex ends in tragedy or even death (more on that later). For others, it ends with a time-honoured linguistic trick – a lie. According to one survey, men and women fake orgasms in almost equal numbers on a regular basis. In a veritable orchestra of fake «ohs», 46 per cent of women and 38 per cent of men regularly feign climax. The main, juicy reason behind all the fakery? Wanting the sex to fiiiinally be over. Respondents cited bad breath, uncomfortable positions and unpleasant room temperature as motivators behind a swift exit.
The University of Groningen has also researched curiosities around fake orgasms, as detailed in this BBC article. Drawing on conclusions made with the help of brain scans, lead researcher Gert Holstege said women could imitate orgasms particularly well. To achieve a genuine orgasm, one item of clothing proved to be a must-have: socks. Both men and women had a 30 per cent higher chance of climaxing when they weren’t barefoot.
Socks for men ... ... and women.
Sex or life? When lust turns to danger
Of course, sex without orgasms can be great too. Getting down and dirty floods the body with hormones and gets the blood flowing. But men especially should be careful. For them, sex in old age has something of a Venus flytrap effect. A Michigan State University study focusing on the impact of sex on the cardiovascular system revealed as much. According to the findings, older men who have sex once a week have nearly double the risk of cardiovascular problems compared to sexually inactive men.
To make matters worse, those who perceived sex to be especially gratifying were at an even greater risk of strokes, high blood pressure and heart attacks.
Not that Switzerland’s male population needs to worry about dying before its time anyway. Getting laid just twice a month on average, Swiss men’s sexual activity level is pretty low compared to their counterparts elsewhere in the world (linked article in German).
A glance at the animal kingdom paints an even more morbid and very bizarre picture. The male Northern Quoll, for example, goes well beyond its sexual peak during mating season. The creatures’ sex drive pushes them towards a perilous state of exhaustion, at which point the male not only dies, but puts his already endangered species at even greater risk of being wiped out.
While the males die with just one mating season under their belts, female Northern Quolls live an average of four years and care for their offspring alone – from bonking to broken homes. Sigh.
Sadomasochism and emancipation in the insect world
While we’re on the topic of bonking, here’s something unsettling about the sexual habits of bees: if a drone has sex with the queen, his genitals explode and he dies. His penis then remains stuck inside the queen like a chastity belt until it’s removed by the female workers. The emancipated queen then stores the sperm for years to come, meaning she no longer has to rely on male help.
Male wasps, on the other hand, don’t just give up their junk at a moment’s notice. In fact, they’ve got daggers on the side of their penises. These genital weapons are mostly designed to protect against predators, as Japanese researchers revealed in the journal Current Biology. Yet another doozy from evolution, there.
More strange animal sex
After doing the research for this article, I’ve come to the realisation that evolution and the beauty of nature is underpinned by seriously weird sexual practices. Male giraffes, for example, conduct especially erotic ovulation tests. To figure out whether his lady is ready to conceive, the male gently pushes her until she urinates on the spot. This phenomenon was observed by researchers at the University of California School of Veterinary Medicine. The male giraffe «inhales» the female’s urine with his mouth and nose and uses the pheromones to detect whether or not she’s ready to mate – a behaviour referred to as a Flehmen Response.
But you don’t need to look that far to come across bizarre sexual proclivities. No further humanity’s closest relative, at any rate. For example, researchers have observed an unusual use of stones in macaque monkeys in Bali. In a study published in the journal Ethology: International Journal of Behavioural Biology, the scientists describe how the animals rub stones against their genitals – behaviour that’s likely to be «sexually motivated».
To put it flippantly, the monkeys were probably enjoying using the stones as sex toys, gaining an evolutionary advantage at the same time. After all, ejaculating regularly excretes old sperm, allowing fresh sperm to be produced faster.
Header image: Shutterstock
Olivia Leimpeters-Leth
Autorin von customize mediahouse
I'm a sucker for flowery turns of phrase and allegorical language. Clever metaphors are my Kryptonite – even if, sometimes, it's better to just get to the point. Everything I write is edited by my cat, which I reckon is more «pet humanisation» than metaphor. When I'm not at my desk, I enjoy going hiking, taking part in fireside jamming sessions, dragging my exhausted body out to do some sport and hitting the occasional party.
Sexuality
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